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When it comes to sexual expression, exploration and pleasure, you may be a criminal and not even know it. While countries around the world are all guilty of trying to control our sex lives, the U. has more laws regulating sexual behavior than all the European countries combined. Laws protecting minors aside, most people will agree that the government should not be telling you what to do in your bedroom.

Both historically and currently, some of our most intimate moments have been made punishable by law. Outdated, unthinkable, erotophobic and downright ridiculous, we should thank our lucky stars that enforcing them is another matter. Sexual positions beyond missionary are illegal in Washington, D. As President Bush has said: "In our free society, people have the right to choose how they live their lives." The way I see it, what consenting adults do in their own bedrooms is their own business.

Just So You Know In case you were thinking about it, any of the following can get you into trouble ...

— If you’re unmarried in North Carolina and you and your lover register yourselves as a "Mr.

— The Arizona State Supreme Court considered it perfectly all right for women to go topless in public, since breasts weren’t deemed private parts.

— You can streak in Louisiana as long as you can prove to a court beyond a doubt that you had no "lascivious intent." — Couples in Carlsbad, N.

— While up to 120 men can live together in Pennsylvania, it is illegal for more than 16 women to do so, since this could constitute a brothel.

) — Husbands in Willowdale, Ore., can be fined for talking dirty during intercourse, but their wives can say whatever they please.

But for any of these laws to have been passed, one has to assume that someone somewhere actually tried to do one of the following; otherwise, some politicians had way too much time on their hands: — Florida once made it illegal to have sexual relations with a porcupine.

— You can’t marry the same man three times in some Kentucky townships.

— It is illegal to serenade your girlfriend in Kalamazoo, Mich.

Even Married Couples Can’t Misbehave One would think that tying the knot is your ticket to paradise. — In Oblong, Ill., it’s illegal to have sex on your wedding day if you’re fishing or hunting.

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